Existential Pain (2017 The Ultimate F-Word)
Existential Pain (The Ultimate F-Word), 13 Feb 2017
At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judgment. - Benjamin Franklin
There is definitely some truth to above statement.
It has been a while since I saw you here. What started as a holiday break turned into a longer more self-reflection on life. Funny how numbers impact your subconscious mind because I don't think this would have happened for a non-40th birthday year!
As I started thinking about the dreams, goals and life purpose (loaded word but I simply look at it as doing things that matter the most to you and make you happy to the core), one thing I struggled with was my relationship with social media. So I did what I normally do when I am stuck with a question. Old readers of my blogs/notes know this means bombarding people around me with dense questions. Whatever.
And yes, in a characteristically Calvin style which still applies even when you are within epsilon distance of 40 (limit age(x) = 40, where traditionally x would be on the wisdom scale but some might think that it is arguable with Calvin reference so we will not get into that discussion!), I oversimplified the problem and made a pros and cons list. Some definite nice pros like being able to keep in touch with people I love and care but don't necessarily get a chance to see/call regularly, amazing travel pictures, diversity of views on issues and insightful discussions, kids update, some inspiring stories, exposure to and knowledge of art/science/technology. The cons list included - distraction/wasting time, negativity, forced social connections, decrease in ability to concentrate. At first glance, it looked straightforward, so many +s and only a few -s. Keep it on.
But something was not feeling right. The ADHD aspect of it. So I continued bugging people and thinking about it. Many smart friends matter-of-factly attested to the theory of explosion of ADHD behaviour as a side effect of modern technology and social media. They were concerned but also more accepting - it is what it is.
What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. - Voltaire
Slowly the haphazard thoughts in my mind started to come together to form a problem statement (thanks to the shut down of FB): It is the problem of TMI. Too Much Information. We are getting exposed to hundreds of things simultaneously and with some very impressionable graphics - serious world issues, tragic personal stories of human trafficking/hunger/illnesses/poverty along side of wonderful personal stories of travel for soul-searching, happy families with new babies (including feline, canine), local new and hip things to do, statistics news, data science, illness, vedanta news and articles, mindfulness or lack of it, Gates foundation, new designer line, new gadgets, health fads, restaurants, baby Taimur, baby Clooney (on the way), Brangelina breakup, networking groups, more social connection apps, alumni center, demise, preschools and kids, 24/7 reality show of American life under new administration ...the list is unending.
You may notice that the list is random with absolutely no pattern. This is too much for our one brain to handle. Our cognitive system cannot decide how to assign weights on what is important and what is not. It tries to multitask way beyond its capacity in trying to sort this huge incoming data dump so that it can prioritize the real important ones to participate in to grow, learn, enjoy and be happy (obviously different things for different people but yes, it is all about pursuit of happiness). Ultimately it loses the capacity to actually concentrate and participate productively because it has exhausted all its resources in just sifting through infinite stimulli. Remember the book Algorithms to Live By" I mentioned few months ago? In Computer Science terms, this is "context switching". When you computer is super-busy but all it is doing is the meta-work, it is spending so much time/resources in switching from task to task that it has no bandwidth to actually DO those tasks!
Or worse, where the brain ends up becoming a minion, only following the easiest to achieve hyped activities (that cool new yoga class, or a hip new wine bar and the fancy show) incessantly.
Marching toward the ultimate F-word, I realized that there is a trade-off. With limited cognitive capacity, I can either continue to enjoy the effortless but evanescent interactions on social media or try to pursue select few things to completion. Perhaps I can actually finish a book that I like in few days by not spending time reading assorted news articles/mommy blogs getting flustered. After all, my brain can only take so much and I cannot really upgrade its RAM, processor or storage!! I don’t want to either.
So, that’s all. I have decided to take a 1-year break from the most invasive social media, not all, to test this hypothesis. My own cross-over study with n=1 and will post results in 2018.
Adios till then!
p.s. Wait! What did you dirty minds think the F-word was??
The END.
Some really good articles for those who have managed to reach here (just to prove my points above ..haha wicked smile):
http://www.gradydoctor.com/2010/09/reflections-of-40-year-old-grown-but.html
http://soulthoughts.com/reflections-of-a-40-year-old/ (you don’t have to believe in God, just yourself, to appreciate the reflections)
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope
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