Existential Pain (Trilogy of existence, 19 April 2009)

 Trilogy of existence, 19 April 2009

Trilogy of existence

1. One is a strong urge to storm out and rule the world. It knows what is right for everyone and how things should be. It wants to enforce it on the world and make it perfect. It demands drama, power, domination, control over everything. All walking together under his command. It sometimes translates into a rebellion - acting out, confronting, playing with mental egos of others and pinning them to wall.
Sometimes it translates into the urge to create - poetry, art, beauty and reach out to all. This urge manifests differently depending on the mood but with great intensity. Great sex, major aggression, big fight, nice story or a poem.

2. Another is equally strong renunciation, a clear understanding of the limitations of the physical world and nonexistence of psychological. A knowledge of the futility of doing anything in the external world. A strong belief that everything that happens in this world is directed by the Universal Will, God and that it happens for the good. There is only flow and world is just a play. This is me. A pure happiness. I exist as a deep understanding, as a contemplation. I exist as a joy. As a flow. That is when a smile comes out.

Every now and then, the contemplation gets disturbed by the urge. The urge to move, to do, to act takes over. Eating, sleeping, walking, crying, music, talking, whatever. Performing the action is fine;
action in fullness is pure enjoyment. There is no thought. For example, when I am cooking dinner, "cooking" is foremost, I and dinner are secondary. The act does not disturb the state of joy. May it be
analyzing data, taking shower, watching a movie, discussing books.

3. Where does fear come from? (fear=misery=confusion) The confusion and the misery come when you lose purity in action and start thinking. Then the Joy is replaced by a story and you get lost in it. No matter what the story is, the thought will always beat you down because that is how it can exist - by creating "I" and "world or they". I am special, I am the best and they are here to get me. So, watch the thought. Don't let it take away the joy of being. Watch every psychological reaction, every like and dislike. Where does it come from? Observe every strong "NO" and "YES", it will teach you. Direct every urge that comes toward contemplation. Let every thought flow into that one great flow, the flow of Consciousness, of Love.

In image, make a flower of every thought and offer it to Ganga. That is what the story of Shiva and Ganga represents, Ganga (flow of thoughts) comes roaring and no one can contain it except Shiva (the
supreme God) through his matted locks. http://www.exoticindiaart.com/article/ganga/

 

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